Mother of the groom: saying it your way
Perhaps you've cried twice already today: once at the ceremony, and once when he straightened his cuff in the mirror exactly the way his grandad used to.
A mother of the groom speech isn't a fixture at every wedding, so nobody will measure yours against a tradition. You're free to be brief, funny, sentimental, or all three.
What the room wants is simple: a glimpse of the boy he was, proof that you like the person he's marrying, and a welcome that sounds like you mean it.
What to cover
- A small, specific memory from his childhood
- What you've learned from watching him in this relationship
- A warm, personal welcome to his partner
- A word for the partner's family
- The toast, or a handover to the next speaker
How long
2 to 4 minutes, about 250 to 500 words. When several people are speaking, a short speech from a parent feels personal rather than slight.
A sample opening
"Hello, everyone. I'm Deirdre, and I'm the woman who taught Liam to tie his shoelaces, which he managed, eventually, at the age of eight. I'm delighted to say he has found someone far more patient than I ever was."
Three tips
Pick the memory that makes you smile, not the one that makes you proudest. Pride can sound like a CV; a smile is something the room can share.
Turn and speak to his partner directly for at least one line. It changes the feel of the whole room.
If his father or another parent is speaking too, agree who handles the thanks so nobody reads the same list twice.
Common mistakes
- Jokes about being replaced in his affections. They can come across as a complaint.
- Describing the wedding you always imagined he'd have.
- Family in-jokes, for a room of guests who have only just met you.
Where Toast fits
The rehearse page lets you read your speech at your own pace with a timer running. Then download it as cue cards and print them, so your hands have something to do and your place is always marked.
FAQ
Is it all right for the mother of the groom to speak?
Yes, if the couple would like it. There's no rule against it, and no rule that says it has to be long.