Wedding speeches
Wedding speeches for every role: guides, examples and the order of speeches
Whoever you are in the wedding party, there is a guide here for your speech: what to cover, how long to speak, a sample opening, tips and the mistakes to avoid.
Below the guides you will find who usually speaks, and in what order, in Ireland, the UK, the US and Australia, and how long each speech tends to run.
Find the guide for your role
Best man
Best man speech examples in three tones, a fill-in-the-blanks template, how long to speak and the mistakes to avoid. Then let Toast help with your draft.
Maid of honour
Maid of honour (maid of honor) speech examples in three tones, a fill-in-the-blanks template, how long to speak and the mistakes to skip.
Father of the bride
Father of the bride speech examples in three tones, a template to fill in, what to say, how long to speak, and how to welcome a new family.
Mother of the bride
Mother of the bride speech examples, a fill-in-the-blanks template, what to cover, how long to speak, and tips for a speech that feels warm, not rehearsed.
Father of the groom
Father of the groom speech examples, a simple template, what to cover, how long to speak, and the mistakes to avoid when it's your turn.
Mother of the groom
Mother of the groom speech examples, a short template, what to include, how long to speak, and tips for a short speech people remember.
Bride
Giving a bride speech? Two full examples, a template, who to thank, how long to speak, and three tips for speaking at your own wedding.
Groom
A groom speech guide with two full examples, a template, who to thank, how long to speak, and the mistakes to avoid on the day.
Sibling
Speaking at your brother's or sister's wedding? Two full examples, a template, what to cover, how long to speak, and the mistakes to steer clear of.
Friend
Asked to say a few words at a friend's wedding? Three short examples, a template, what to cover, how long to speak and the mistakes worth avoiding.
Officiant
Officiating as a friend or celebrant? Two complete ceremony addresses, a template, what to cover, how long to speak, and practical tips.
Who speaks, and in what order
There is no rule book. Below is what is traditional in each place, and plenty of couples change it: the bride speaks, both families speak, a friend hosts, or the couple speak together. Agree the order with the couple and whoever is running the day, so every speaker knows when they are on.
Ireland
The speeches usually come after the meal, although more couples now hold them before it, so the speakers can relax and enjoy their dinner.
A traditional order
- The father of the bride, who welcomes everyone and toasts the couple
- The groom, who thanks the guests, both families and the wedding party
- The best man, who often closes the speeches and may read out messages from guests who could not be there
Many couples now add the bride, the maid of honour or a parent of the groom. At a lot of Irish weddings the best man or a friend acts as master of ceremonies and introduces each speaker.
The UK
The speeches traditionally follow the meal, before the cake is cut and the dancing starts.
A traditional order
- The father of the bride, or whoever is hosting, who welcomes the guests and toasts the couple
- The groom, who replies, thanks everyone and traditionally toasts the bridesmaids
- The best man, who replies on behalf of the bridesmaids, tells the stories and closes the speeches
At formal weddings a toastmaster may introduce each speaker. Speeches from the bride and the maid of honour are now part of many UK weddings too.
The US
In the US the speeches are usually called toasts, and they are often given during or just after dinner at the reception.
A common order
- A welcome from the hosts, often the parents of the bride or both sets of parents
- The maid or matron of honor
- The best man
- Sometimes a short thank you from the couple
The best man and the maid of honor often swap places. The groom's parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner the night before, and often give their toast there instead.
Australia
Australian receptions are usually run by an MC, who introduces each speaker. There is no single fixed order.
A common order
- The father of the bride, or the bride's parents
- The father of the groom, or the groom's parents
- The maid of honour and the best man
- The couple, who thank everyone
Some couples hold all the speeches together after the main course; others spread them across the evening between courses.
And the officiant?
The officiant speaks during the ceremony, not at the reception: the personal address about the couple comes before the vows. For a civil or religious ceremony, check with the registrar, celebrant or priest what can be added.
How long each speech should be
These are the lengths our guides suggest, at a steady pace of about 130 words a minute. A speech that is a little short is almost always better than one that runs long.
| Role | Time | Words |
|---|---|---|
| Best man | 5 to 7 minutes | 650 to 900 words |
| Maid of honour | 4 to 6 minutes | 500 to 800 words |
| Father of the bride | 5 to 7 minutes | 650 to 900 words |
| Mother of the bride | 3 to 5 minutes | 400 to 650 words |
| Father of the groom | 3 to 5 minutes | 400 to 650 words |
| Mother of the groom | 2 to 4 minutes | 250 to 500 words |
| Bride | 3 to 5 minutes | 400 to 650 words |
| Groom | 5 to 7 minutes | 650 to 900 words |
| Sibling | 3 to 5 minutes | 400 to 650 words |
| Friend | 2 to 4 minutes | 250 to 500 words |
| Officiant | 5 to 8 minutes | 650 to 1,000 words |
Taken together, many venues suggest keeping all the speeches under about 25 minutes, so the meal and the evening stay on time. With several speakers, each speech can be shorter.
Several speeches at one wedding?
A Wedding party room puts every speaker in one running order with the timings, and checks that nobody tells the same story.
Questions about wedding speeches
What is the traditional order of wedding speeches?
Traditionally the father of the bride speaks first, then the groom, then the best man. That is the classic order in Ireland and the UK. Many weddings now add the bride, the maid of honour or a parent of the groom, and the couple can choose any order that suits them.
Who gives the first speech at a wedding?
Usually the father of the bride, or whoever is hosting, because the first speech welcomes the guests. Where there is an MC or a toastmaster, they open proceedings and introduce each speaker.
Does the bride give a speech?
She can, and many brides now do. No tradition rules it out. A bride often speaks alongside the groom or just after him, and our bride speech guide covers what to say.
How many speeches should there be at a wedding?
Three is the traditional number: the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. Four or five can work well if each one is short. With more speakers than that, keep each speech to two or three minutes, or spread them across the meal.
When do the speeches happen?
Traditionally after the meal, before the cake is cut and the dancing starts. Many couples now hold them before the meal or between courses, so the speakers can relax and eat.
Your turn to speak.
Pick your role, answer a few questions, and Toast helps you write a speech that sounds like you.