Your best man speech, without the panic
You were asked because you know your friend better than almost anyone. The catch: the room expects you to be the funny one, and your best stories only work at two in the morning.
The best man's job is not stand-up. It is to show the room who your friend is, have a bit of fun at their expense, and then say something true about the person they are marrying. Laughs first, then sincerity, then the toast.
What to cover
- Who you are and how you know the groom, in a line or two
- One or two stories that show his character, not only his worst night out
- What changed when his partner came along
- A kind word to the partner directly
- A reply on behalf of the wedding party, if the groom has toasted them
- The toast to the couple
How long
5 to 7 minutes, roughly 650 to 900 words. You're often last before the dancing, so leave them wanting more.
A sample opening
"Good evening, everyone. I'm Conor. I've been Declan's friend since we were eleven, so I've had twenty years to prepare for this and still wrote most of it on Thursday. I'll keep it short, because his mother is in the front row giving me a very specific look."
Three tips
Test every story on someone who wasn't there. If it needs "you had to be there", cut it.
Tease him about things he'd laugh at himself, like his driving or his faith in flat-pack instructions. Leave his exes and his bank balance alone.
Write the last minute first. The sincere part and the toast are what people carry home, so get them right before you polish the jokes.
Common mistakes
- Stag stories. Half the room has no context; the other half hoped you'd forgotten.
- Reading from a phone in dim light, with messages arriving mid-joke.
- Forgetting the partner, so the speech is about one person at a wedding for two.
Where Toast fits
Story Harvest lets you send one link to his school friends, his sister and his five-a-side team. They send a voice note or a typed story, no account needed, and you choose what goes in. If others are speaking too, the Wedding party room shows the running order and tells you privately if you and another speaker have the same story lined up.
FAQ
Can a woman be the best man?
Of course. The title describes the job, not the person. Some prefer "best woman" or "best person", and the speech works exactly the same way.