The groom's speech: thanks, a story, and the words that matter
Thank the parents. Thank the wedding party. Say something to your partner that makes the room go quiet. That's the job, and it's less complicated than it feels the week before.
In the usual Irish and British order, the groom replies to the father of the bride, so your speech has two halves: gratitude and love. The gratitude has to be complete. The love has to be specific.
What to cover
- Thanks to the speaker before you, and to both families
- Your wedding party, with a line each where you can
- How you met, or the moment you knew
- A few sentences to your partner
- Where it's the custom, a toast to the wedding party that hands over to the best man
How long
5 to 7 minutes, about 650 to 900 words. There's a lot to get through before the good part, so time the thanks and never rush the ending.
A sample opening
"Thank you, Frank, for that welcome, and for not mentioning your garage door. We'll call that even. Good evening, everyone, and thank you for coming, some of you all the way from Perth, and some of you all the way from the bar, which is further than it looks."
Three tips
Write the thank-yous as a plain list first. Check it with your partner and both families, then turn it into sentences.
Pick one moment in your relationship and describe it closely: the weather, what you were both wearing, the first thing they said.
Don't compete with the best man. Your laughs can be gentle; the teasing is his department.
Common mistakes
- Leaving a step-parent or a grandparent out of the thanks.
- Telling the room anything about the stag.
- Rushing the words to your partner because you're emotional. Slow down there, not in the thanks.
Where Toast fits
The Grandma filter checks your jokes against a mixed room and suggests softer lines where one might sting. Once the draft is yours, rehearse it with a timer, and print cue cards so you're not reading from a phone.
FAQ
We're two grooms. Who gives the speech?
Whatever suits you: one each, one together, or one of you for both. Agree the thanks in advance so nobody is thanked twice, or not at all.
Do I still toast the bridesmaids?
Only if it's part of your wedding. Thanking the whole wedding party together is simpler, and nobody is left out.