Father of the groom: a short speech with plenty of heart
The father of the groom doesn't speak at every wedding. When you do, it's because somebody wanted to hear from you.
You aren't the host and you aren't the comedy act, which is freeing. Your job is smaller and more personal: thank the other family, say something true about your son, and welcome his partner properly.
If you're his stepdad, or standing in for a parent who has died, one sentence explaining your place is plenty.
What to cover
- Thanks to the hosts and the other family, especially if they've carried the planning
- A memory of your son that explains the man he is
- What you've noticed in him since his partner arrived
- A welcome to the partner, and to their family
- The toast
How long
3 to 5 minutes, about 400 to 650 words. Yours sits between other speeches, and a short, warm one comes across as generous rather than slight.
A sample opening
"Good evening. I'm Tom, Rory's father, and I'll be brief, partly because I've been told to and partly because I've heard rumours about the best man's speech. I'd like to start by thanking Anne and Seán, who have made our family feel at home here from the moment we arrived."
Three tips
Tell one story that shows character: the summer job he stuck at, the brother he looked after, the time he owned up when he didn't have to.
Say something about his partner that you've seen for yourself, not something he told you.
Keep a card with the names you must thank, spelled out, in case your mind goes blank.
Common mistakes
- Repeating the father of the bride's thanks almost word for word.
- Jokes about "losing" your son. They're older than the wedding cake.
- Going on because you're nervous. Stop at the toast.
Where Toast fits
The Grandma filter is a second pair of eyes for a mixed room. It flags lines that might hurt or confuse, like an in-joke or a mention of an ex, and suggests a softer version. The rehearse page shows your time as you read, so you'll know if your brief speech has quietly grown to eight minutes.
FAQ
Does the father of the groom have to give a speech?
No. It depends on the couple and both families. If you're asked and would rather not, a toast of a few sentences is a perfectly good answer.